Caught In The Middle: Why It’s Important To Leave Children Out Of Divorce Or Separation Disputes

While divorces occur because of a relationship breakdown between two people, the divorce itself and the consequences of it will affect the whole family.  

Children in particular are likely to struggle with divorce, even when relations between the two parties are amicable. When, as is more often than not the case, there is some level of animosity between the couple, children will find themselves caught in the middle of a very stressful situation.

How does separation affect children? Parents report a range of behavioural impacts

A recent survey by Resolution revealed that restrictions caused by the pandemic had resulted in parents struggling to keep child contact arrangements in place and almost 3 in 10 divorced parents admitted to more stress/tension in their relationship with their ex-partner since the start of the pandemic. Two thirds of separated parents said they “lacked help or advice” as to how to put their children first following a relationship breakdown.

As part of the same survey, parents reported various behavioural impacts that separation had on their children, with 1 in 10 citing “violent outbursts” and 1 in 7 saying that their children displayed “anti-social behaviour” since the break-up.

A quarter of parents said their children had suffered a “loss of confidence” and a similar proportion reported that their children had suffered from depression due to the relationship breakdown.

Top tips for keeping your children out of divorce disputes

Any divorce or separation, no matter how amicable, will come with some degree of negative feelings towards the other party.

It is important not to pass on any negative opinions or feelings to your children. While this may be hard, particularly if the relationship broke down because of any kind of betrayal, it is vital that children do not become involved. When you are with your children, focus on your children and your relationship with them.

If your children tell you that the other parent was saying nasty things about you, try and rise above this. While you cannot control the other parent’s behaviour, you can make sure that you do not involve your children in any disputes about your divorce.

Seeking legal advice as early on as possible to ensure you fully understand and are prepared for the divorce process, can help to put your mind at ease and reduce stress levels. Get in touch with us today to book your free consultation with one of our experienced family lawyers.

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