Our top tips for divorce and children

Divorcing is tough on anyone but it can be particularly painful when children are involved.  With years’ of experience in divorce law, we’ve learned a thing or two about what can help families get through the most painful time of their lives.  Take a look at our tips below and if you have any of your own, leave a comment and share it with our other readers.

Reassure them

Your divorce may have nothing whatsoever to do with your children but they may be worrying that they’re somehow to blame.  Give them reassurance that it’s not their fault and that you both love them just as much as ever.  Tell them you’re proud of how brave they’re being.

Talk together – and listen

Your children need to let out all the emotions they are feeling.  Engage them in conversation but try to do most of the listening.  They don’t need to know the ins and outs of why you’re splitting up.  Let them be honest about their feelings.

Don’t argue in front of the children

It’s hard, but do try not to argue when the children are there.  Try meeting in a neutral place or have serious discussions when the kids are with a friend or relative

Mediate

Children find it comforting to see you working together.  Although it’s likely to be the last thing you feel like doing with an ex-partner or soon-to-be ex-husband, sitting down together along with a professional third party mediator is likely to lead to a better result in the long-term for you and your family.

Try to keep a routine

So much in the life of you and your children will be changing over the next few months but try to keep a routine for their sake.  Keep bed and mealtimes regular – it reassures children to know that some things won’t be changing.  As much as you’ll miss them, honour what you’ve agreed with regards to contact: stick to the pre-arranged pick up and drop off times and don’t change things at the last minute unless you absolutely have to.

But do remember to schedule in some fun activities, like a movie day on the sofa with popcorn – and stick to it!

Seek help

Whether the help you need is from a friend, family, your GP or a solicitor you must see someone.  You can’t support your children if you are breaking down so get the help you need.

 

If you want information about how a solicitor can help you through separation and divorce then call us on 0800 222 9500 to book a free, no obligation initial consultation with one of our solicitors.  You can find out what your rights are, where you stand in relation to your children and how the divorce process works.