Redefining Valentine’s Day : Roses Are Red, But I’m Not Blue

Whether you’ve been married in the past or you are simply a member of the singleton club, there are lots of ways you can still enjoy St Valentine’s Day. Here is a list of 7 reasons why Valentine’s should not have you feeling down this Sunday.


You care about yourself enough to have discontinued – or accepted the end of – a former relationship that was no longer making you happy. Not all people are as brave as you: some unhappy couples stay together, either because they do not see divorce as an option or they accept that is just the way their life is going to be.  You are at a good place in your life now. So on Valentine’s Day, celebrate new beginnings and treat yourself:: buy the new pair of shoes or coat that’s been on your mind, unapologetically indulge in your favorite foods , host a house party to acknowledge the milestone. The idea is, keep up the self-gratitude.


The uncertainty of the future is exciting once you accept it and embrace it. And after experiencing a separation, you are more aware that in this lifetime there is no time for negativity – or monotony – now your life and your future is entirely in your hands, no one else’s. We have all wasted energy and resources on fear, anxiety and regret. So, on February 14th mark your calendar for an activity you haven’t quite gotten around to but  have wanted to try or would like to pursue, whether that is a break in Barcelona,, to start an online dating account, or to join the gym – or go wild and do something completely unexpected – the world is your oyster!


Do any of us truly understand why Valentine’s Day is meant to be about romance? Theories vary – from religion to folk tradition to ancient conviction. Flowers and chocolates are caring gestures but endorphins prevail over pheromones any day: who wants to be “weak in the knees” when one can be strong at the core from the gym? Physical health fuels mental and emotional well-being – go for a power jog, take a Zumba class with friends, beat your personal timed plank record.


The saying goes: “Be kind, for everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about.” Sadness and distress should be humbling, not contagious. The world can never have too much compassion – everyone has undergone, is undergoing, or will undergo a struggle in some shape or form. Donate to a charity. Volunteer at an orphanage for a day. Hold a garage sale to raise funds for a loved one. Sign yourself up for a sponsored run. Helping other people will make you feel good about yourself.


Modern Valentine’s Day is about love and who do you love more than your friends and family?  They are your constants and your support system – show them that you value them. Send them a surprise gift or message them notes of appreciation. Or just tell them that you are appreciate their support.  No need to be too grand.


You undoubtedly have more free time on your hands. Yes, it is sometimes nice to have someone there, but realise that you are always surrounded by potential great company. It is a matter of approach. Be a fun third wheel to one of your willing best friends and their significant other over lunch – or finally allow them to set you up on a blind date.. Take the initiative to ask an old friend for coffee if they are free. Instigate a conversation with a stranger.


I was never a fan of waiting until the New Year before committing to a drastic resolution, in fact, some studies suggest you have a better chance of sticking to a resolution if you DON’T start in the New Year. Take conscious control of certain aspects of your life that you’re not entirely happy with. Harness the momentum into productive energy. Confront your weaknesses more bluntly. Nurture your strengths less reluctantly. Care less about social judgement. Take it easier on yourself. Take it easier on those around you. Breathe more. Worry less.

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