A recent court case brought to light the story of a man who tried to conceal the fact that he had raped his wife and emotionally abused her and their children by claiming that he was in fact a victim of domestic abuse.
Judge Middleton-Roy has ruled that the man in question’s conduct – which included repeatedly filming his family with a body worn camera – had been “reprehensible and unreasonable” in the wake of him attempting to make false claims against the mother and contesting her allegations against him of domestic abuse. The father has now been ordered to pay £50,000 in costs to his ex-wife.
This distressing narrative dates back to 2020 when he first began accusing his then wife of alienating their children from him in an attempt to further upset and confuse her after she made allegations against him of abuse. The couple then divorced in July of 2021, following which the mother made an application to the court for an “occupational order” which requested that the father be removed from the marital home. Although she had previously been granted a non-molestation order against him, this application was unfortunately refused at the time and so the family continued living in the same premises.
It was during this time that the father began using his body worn camera, also leaving iPads around the house recording his family when he was not at home. The abuse escalated further when he would tell the mother that she was not permitted to speak to their children when it was “his turn” for contact – even going as far as to lock his eldest child in their bedroom.
Current-day records of the case now show that more than a dozen findings against the father, including that he was coercive and controlling and that he did in fact rape the mother twice in 2020, have proven to be true. Conversely, his counter allegations against the mother of parental alienation and other related claims have all been dismissed as they were unfounded. Middleton-Roy said the evidence, “leads to the clear conclusion the father has sought consistently, systematically and falsely to manipulate the mother, the children, professionals and the court into believing that he is the victim of domestic abuse perpetrated by the mother”.
Sadly, this case is yet another example of a growing trend among abusive individuals who use claims of parental alienation against their partners as a means of deflecting attention away from their own abusive behaviour. The Children Act 1989, by which all child matters in family law are determined, specifically states that the welfare of the child(ren) in any case is paramount. As such, if a parent is actively trying to erode the relationship their child(ren) has with the other parent, then they are legally not seen to be acting in the child’s best interest – which is a handy claim for abusers to make. However, even if the claim is in fact true, it can still be difficult to find a way forward as the only way to truly ensure that parental alienation ceases is to entirely remove the child(ren) from the care of the problematic parent and not all parents are equipped for sole custody in this event. 
Falling into an abusive relationship can happen to almost anyone. It can be incredibly hard to reconcile oneself to this reality if you do find yourself in one, and to also pluck up the courage to take action against it. Further, cunningly executed manipulative tactics like the one described above can make things even harder to resolve, especially if you are facing them alone. Our solicitors at Grayfords have a wealth of experience dealing with complex family law cases and can help you to fight for your best interests if you are in an abusive relationship. Don’t hesitate to book your free consultation today to find out more about how we can support you with your family matter.